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CANCIL, MISS – In a stomp out of professionalism and into politics (pretending he didn’t know what to expect from Mississippi), Bryan Adams storms out of the Mississippi Dive Bar that was going to have him and into a lake River where some curious Catfish ate him hole. “He tastes like his muzak,” said the Catfish, “like shit!” He goes on to saying, “It was like eating a elevator radio, and if you know Catfish, you know I might have.”
The Catfish said, “I don’t know about pastries, but damn I am glad it was some white meat, not another nigger,” when probed more on the politics of Gays he said, “I don’t care about gay or straight, just no inter-racial cakes!”
A few minutes with this fish and you will get too sick for pastries, or maybe it was the moonshine I drank that caused me to talk to a Catfish, I have no fucking idea, I just home I am typing now, I can’t see anything…..

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Categories Satire, Politics

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WILIGNORAN, SWEEDEN – In the west a movement has successfully taken anti-religious hatred and xenophobia and legitimized it in one motion championed by the International Association of Xionists, United Association of United Baptist Churches with celebrity spokesman Bill Maher at a UN Summit. In the Summit, it was decided, the official name in the world for Islam will now be Rape.
“Finally, it’s not just the definition of men as a hole,” said Femixionist Neah Krotchsky said, “No all men are rapists, but it is okay to consider Islamic rapists as 2 for every non-Islamic,” she goes on, “it worked with our war on the Papists, making each child molested by priest equal 2 molested boys with all lies made true.”
Donald Trump was asked about the news, and all he could say, “Mexico is Islamic?”
Sweeden’s Premier, who fought for “No-go” zones, said, “Let’s keep Rape white on white.”

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Categories Satire, Politics

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TORONTO, ON – Hamburgers suffered a huge 6th place upset to cake, donuts and crack. We can’t believe that Cancer was the ultimate champion over Mr. Ford, said Burgers. Crack and Cake were upset, but Donuts were the most gracious in their 2nd place position.
This was the biggest upset since Chris Christy dropped half his weight to 1 ton.

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Categories Satire, Canada

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BIPART, MD – In a fishing and ceremonial spanking weekend just outside of Washington, DC the leaders of both major Political Parties joined in their annual meeting of their Super PAC: “Two Parties One Voice.”
As well as almost all other things, they have agreed to support gun rights as long as private psychiatric information is shared to the public, all deemed insane denied their rights.
“It’s genius!,” said Karl Rove, “We can pretend to support gun rights and use our forced psychiatric system to deny rights of Targeted Individuals using mental health law, rather than criminal law. Making sure only our preferred people have guns.”
Senator Feinstein is finally glad they all hammered out a Bipartisan Platform for the fall and united on the gun issue, uttering an “End to debate in our free society.”

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Categories Satire, Mad Pride

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BLUDSUK, BC – BC MLAs are currently debating how high their next pay rise vote should go, meanwhile they will feel it is justified by offering others under “People with Disabilities” a 77/mo without Compass Card and 25 with Compass (Bus) Card.
The Parliament is gleaming with self satisfaction. “While our pay is going way beyond inflation, we can feel good that we helped disability creep up to it,” said the Premier who wanted to be unnamed, “we also made sure people with some old money coming to them as inheritance is protected,” she went on.
Many social progression activists are pleased public arts grants have not suffered so PWD recipients can have the 77 and the Compass Card.

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Categories Comedy, Satire

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